The Glory of Sport
Posted on June 11, 2006
On Memorial Day 2006 a spectacle took place. A spectacle so great it took me several weeks to put it into words.
It was another chicken nugget eating contest.
Against the better judgment of the contestants Chaos on Castleford took place, a double-header of nugget eating insanity that threatened the stomachs of 6 men, as well as the stunned audience in attendance. All the pomp and pageantry one would expect from an event of this type was on full display, from costumes to a display involving dipping sauces that nearly evoked vomiting from the crowd, who weren’t even eating anything at the time.
The first event was a four-way affair for first timers, an un-timed race to 40 nuggets. Only the capacity of their stomachs and what regard for they had left for their bodies limited the combatants. Bubba rushed to a glorious victory, only to be left physically (and perhaps mentally) punished for several hours after the fact. Jason called it quits after only 20 nuggets, and Dee around the 35 nugget mark. Pete not only managed to finish his full 40, but also a celebratory sundae afterwards. What intestinal distress he may have experienced is better left unexplored.
Then, the old salts took the table. Brew and Kel once again faced off as they did during the Superbowl, attempting to devour 40 nuggets in five minutes. A blistering pace was set, only to be slightly disturbed when Kel dropped nearly half of his remaining nuggets on the floor. In the end both men reached the 31 nugget mark, but Kel managed to fully ingest the stragglers in his mouth first, taking a glorious victory and tying the series at 1-1. What will come next for these nugget combatants? Perhaps July 4th will inspire them to greater heights of gustatory athletics.
View the majesty here.
Mega Munch
On June 12, 2006 at 07:27
Great contest! I had a 20 piece of nuggets just this weekend and was thinking how great it would be to have a contest with them. I think I’ll try to schedule one here at work — lots of crazy folks here — and see how we do. With post contest sundaes of course.