The Strength of Seagal
Posted on May 10, 2006
At 7-11 today I came across something that you don’t see every day. Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink.
The flavor was simply listed as “Asian Experience” so I figured I should prepare my taste buds for a trip to the Orient as soo as possible. The flavor wasn’t so much an Aikido blow to the kisser as I expected, it reminded me more of melted Slurpee flavoring than anything else. The disappointment over the flavor was balanced out by Seagal‘s inspiring mug on the can, reminding me to never give up, even if you’re not really Asian and your energy drink tastes like it was bottled in the back of the very 7-11 its sold at the night before, when they clean the Slurpee machine.
I did find it slightly odd that I go this intense urge to break random passersby’s wrists after I drank it though. Luckily that soothing kanji being struck by ball lightning on the can and Seagal’s ever vigilant gaze brought me back to reality.