Archive for October, 2005
Black Samurai
Posted on October 27, 2005
This review turned into a really long summary with some running commentary because this movie had some of the most classically hilarious scenes in it I think I have ever experienced. Crotches were kicked. Midgets were vanquished. Whitey was hated on. Some things I couldn’t put into words, but I wanted to communicate the sheer ridiculousness of this movie, and frankly it took quite a few words to do that. So settle in and let the Black Samurai take you away to a world of mystery, excitement and Blaxploitation.
SNMD!
Posted on October 21, 2005
Troma (do not click this link if you are at work unless you want to join me in looking for a job) is an interesting company. They make movies that are essentially bad. Apparently 30 years ago LLoyd Kaufman and his friends saw a serious lack in the “horrible” genre of American cinema and decided to rectify that. 1987 rolls around and the world sees the release of Surf Nazis Must Die!. In a post apocalyptic world, the beaches have become battlefields. Or so says the tag-line. Actually the beaches are populated with theme gangs, like in The Warriors. Only this is Troma so we get the Samurai Surfers and the Surf Nazis, among other very nondescript groups (trendy guys! Guys in black shirts! The fat biker!). And the apocalypse was some kind of earthquake which seems to have reduced the entire world to beaches and their surrounding suburbs. The most dangerous thing about this movie must have been driving the character’s van around, which was camo colored with shark teeth and swastikas scrawled all over it. I can’t imagine driving that thing down to the set on the first day, or how they managed to keep it from becoming a burned out shell as soon as the sun went down. The local residents (director’s mom) were probably pretty psyched to see that rolling down the street past the day care center, but hey, these are the sacrifices that must be made in the name of the cinema.
Before we go any farther, let’s meet our Surf Nazis…
Bak
Posted on October 14, 2005
Incidentally I came back to America on the first, but I’ve been too busy eating at Mexican restaurants that serve me plates as wide as my shoulders to post on here. Look for new movie reviews soon though, as requested by the masses.
BUT before that: a thought on why food is so big in America.
In Japan it seemed like I was served food in a portion that was extremely well calculated. They thought of exactly how much food one person would normally consume and gave you that. In America that would be perceived as cheap. I don’t know when exactly it happened but we’re used to being served way too much food to eat in one sitting. If we got one of those mathematically calculated amounts it would seem like a rip-off. Our sense of value is based in these freakish portions. Thought it is nice to get 2 meals out of one serving. The problem is some people will eat all of that at once. Someone will order the 10 X 10 at In-N-Out Burger (yes, that is a cheeseburger with 10 patties and 10 pieces of cheese) and miraculously not die. As long as the whole size over everything trend continues those quaint “family restaurants” from Japan will never break into the business here. It’s too bad, I’m sure yamaimo would be really popular.
Viva excess!
