Archive for August, 2005
The Master
Posted on August 21, 2005
Everyone who’s up on their recent pretentious video game discussion/over-analyzation/dissection (this of course includes your humble author) has heard of Killer7. The game is generating a lot of hype because its interface is fairly unique. You hold a button to run forward. If there is a fork in the road you are prompted to choose one by pointing your directional stick in that direction. If there is an object that can be interacted with you are given the option to do so. If there is nothing important in a room you can’t go in it. It would be a waste of time anyway. Everything about the game is utilitarian, from the interface to the bizarre graphical style. Everything works, but I call it more “interesting” than “fun” in a traditional sense. I thought the run -> stop, switch to 1st person view to shoot monsters -> run pattern got to be tedious, but the story kept me interested till the end. But why is this game getting so much hype?
Killer7 is probably the most brutally efficient game I’ve ever played. I ran from point to point choosing my path without worrying about dead ends or meaningless run-arounds. At its heart Killer7 is a survival horror game, so I picked up the ridiculous chess piece/giant jewels/huge wavy pieces of metal needed to unlock doors or electric panels. Oddly they are all called 微妙なアイテム (questionable item) in the Japanese version. It doesn’t matter what this stupid thing is, we already know there will be a hole in some door somewhere in the level we need to put it in. We don’t care if it’s a giant eyeball or a tiny silver shield.
It seems like most people are super psyched about the whole “if its important you’ll know” design, but why? Games have become extremely detailed recently, with emphasis on interaction with the environment getting more and more realistic. Have we already gotten to the point where people are applauding a game for LACK of freedom? It’s a video game that knows its a video game and therefore realizes its own limitations, but I don’t know if everyone should be calling it the best game in recent history for just that. I’m often irritated by people who insist on having “different experiences” from their games now. They seem to think that since games have been around for as long as they have we should be moving past things like Mario running to the right because the screen won’t let him go left. We should be learning something about ourselves or our world by shooting an alien or saving the world from giant amphibious robots. These are the same people who are so thrilled with Killer7 being “a video game.” This game does not teach me anything about the world; in fact you could argue its one of the farthest removed games from reality I’ve played. It’s only concerned with telling you a story about 7 professional killers in the form of a video game. When a monster comes we shoot it. When an important item presents itself we pick it up. When the item becomes useful it is often used automatically. I don’t have a problem with this because I like videogames. If I can only run right I will run right. I do find this sudden complete reversal in “post-modern enlightened game critique” a bit ridiculous though.
To teach
Posted on August 19, 2005
Rits, on planning my future (from an IM conversation, hence the line breaks):
see Brad
I think you should just become a college professor at this point
get a masters and a phd
and teach japanese stuff
you have the sarcasm, the crappy experience and all that
to make a really good hilarious gaijin jap teacher
just remember not to respect anything or anybody when you’re lecturing
Eat
Posted on August 8, 2005
Everyone should know that I am a huge fan of the idea of competitive eating as both sport and spectacle. Now I have a single website I can check for all my needs. The International Federation of Competitive Eating website. The Alka-Seltzer US Open of competitive eating makes me quite happy, in that it is sponsored by Alka-Seltzer, proving you need to have a sense of humor to run a company based on people’s upset stomachs. Add to that the fact that Badlands Booker has a rap album coming out soon and you have the greatest website ever created. The rankings would have us believe Sonya “Black Widow” Thomas from Alexandria, VA is second in the world. Also she ate 35 bratwurst in 10 minutes, despite only weighing 99 pounds. Now, read that article. No, even better I will quote the important part.
IFOCE host George Shea said the close contest was the most emotional thing he’d experienced since the birth of his firstborn, a son.
That says it all. Long live gluttony!
Addendum: You too can become a gustatory athlete! It’s just as easy as becoming a real ordained minister! I did it, so can you! This news is just too big, I can’t stop using exclamation marks!! When every sentence uses one they lose all meaning!
Make my monster GROWWWWW
Posted on August 1, 2005
Thanks to two of the greatest living minds of our time, one Far East of Eden (Brad “Maaaaaaaarstorious” McNair) and one in the Wiggidy Wiggidy Wild West (Ken “Neumonic!”Mackel) these two games have been defeated for all time. Note that these screenshots give you an idea of what you are working towards so I guess its SPOILARZ ALERT!!!
