Wow
Posted on July 4, 2004
Ok, so its going to take some seriously wild shit from Purple Potamus to top today. A guy came in and rented 18 pornos today. All at once. 12 VHS tapes and 6 dvds. This was at like 4 pm, they are all due back by midnight the next day. I don’t have the mental strength to figure out how long they all were and how many hours he has, but basically he won’t be sleeping anytime soon. I thought about offering to call the hospital for him ahead of time, but I was too busy biting the hell out of my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh in his face. The stack of movies on the counter was higher than the top of my head. To top all that off, he had a $88 late fee for…you guessed it, keeping his last spree out for 2 extra days. I told him and he said “yea, sounds right.” So his final bill comes to $167, and it takes like 3 bags to hide his shame from the world. Its too late for the people in the store though, we pretty well publicized the fact that “the guy with the porn” was coming to the register. I salute you guy with the porn, you have out fiended everyone who I have had to deal with so far combined. The depth of your perversion knows no bounds.
Later a guy with a craaaaaaazy Jamaican accent came in and when I told him about his late fees he told me he would “pay that in 2 years” and told me to be careful of my friends cause “they are nice to you, then they just shit all over you.” Thanks man, you really opened my eyes. See you in 2 years for that $8.50
Rits
On July 7, 2004 at 16:00
That is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard. It certainly beats the dude who came to install Comcast two years ago who was talking about people he knew and just säid “they used to be your best friends, but now they’re just drunks.” BTW, Chappelle needs to sue b/c Trading Spouses is actually a real show now! With that name!